Being a Single Parent: The Time Dilemma

If you’re a single, working parent or caregiver, chances are you’ve asked yourself some hard questions late at night: “Am I doing enough? Am I missing too much? Does my child feel like they aren’t my priority?”

These worries come from a place of deep love and responsibility. But here’s something I want you to hear clearly: being a good parent has far more to do with presence, intention, and connection than with the number of hours you spend together.

Your child doesn’t need you to be available every moment. What they need most is to know that when you are with them, they are seen, heard, and loved.

Quality Over Quantity: Are You Present When You Are Present?

Research across child development and attachment theory shows that children thrive not because parents are always available, but because they feel emotionally safe, connected, and prioritized. That sense of security can come from small, consistent acts: a smile, a bedtime check-in, a shared interest, or a five-minute conversation that makes them feel important.

In fact, trying to do everything often leads to parental burnout, which makes genuine connection even harder. What matters most is not perfection—it’s showing up with love in the ways you can.

Ways to Maximize Your Presence as a Single, Working Parent or Caregiver

Here are a few practical ways you can create strong bonds, even in the midst of a busy schedule:

Micro-Moments of Connection A two-minute “family song” before school, a silly inside joke, or a nightly “highs and lows” chat at dinner can leave a big impact. For some children, connection may also look like parallel play, quiet time together, or engaging in a shared special interest.

Establish Rituals Even simple traditions—Friday night movie, bedtime story, walking the dog together—become touchstones of safety and belonging.

Use Transition Times Well The car ride, waiting in line, or cooking dinner together can turn into small pockets of conversation or gentle shared presence.

Be Fully Present (Even Briefly) Putting your phone down for 10 minutes to listen deeply communicates more love than distracted hours together.

Name Your Priorities Saying things like “You are the most important part of my day” reassures your child that they matter most.

Let Go of the Myth of “Not Enough”

Many single parents carry unnecessary guilt, comparing themselves to families with more time, resources, or support. But children don’t measure love in hours worked or outings planned. They measure it in the consistency of your care, the safety of your presence, and the way you respond when they need you.

The pressures on single parents are not only emotional, but often systemic—limited childcare, demanding jobs, or lack of community support. These are real challenges, and none of them diminish your love or your child’s experience of it.

If you are showing up with love, honesty, and effort, you are enough.

A Final Word of Encouragement

Single parenting is one of the hardest and most courageous roles a person can take on. The very fact that you worry about whether you’re doing enough shows how deeply you care. That care, paired with the intention to stay connected, is the foundation of great parenting.

Of course, not every parenting journey is simple or safe. For those navigating trauma, loss, or high-conflict circumstances, your needs may look different—and support is available.

Remember: your child doesn’t need a “perfect” parent—they need you. Your voice, your love, your presence.

If you’d like support in building simple, meaningful communication and connection strategies that work for your unique family life, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. Together, we can make the most of the time you do have, and help you feel confident that you are the parent your child needs.